Lorcan Scamander

March 22nd, 2010

Metaphorically

3/22/10 09:57 pm

When you're waiting for the other shoe to drop (metaphorically), do you ever get the feeling that it's not going to drop? But you don't really believe it, but there's enough suspense that you start imagining that other noises are shoes dropping, and that a shoe dropping isn't nearly as bad as you remembered?

Or maybe after a while it's not actually (or metaphorically) waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's probably a different metaphor, like watching a nest that you think might contain a razor-billed mimicbird chick, but you're not sure. But if it does, that chick will eventually reveal itself by pecking the other chicks until they're too weak to eat or they fall out out of the nest. But if they don't, does that mean there isn't one, or that it just hasn't done it yet?

And then maybe the chick you've been watching does something else, like be the first to fly, and you realize that maybe you had the wrong metaphor all along.

And then the other shoe drops on the nest and tips it over, dumping all the remaining chicks out, thus proving that metaphors are useless and confusing?

( private to Corrie )

March 16th, 2010

3/16/10 01:39 pm

( private )

[private to Corrie]

You'd tell me if Pavlina did anything else, wouldn't you?

[private to Twin]

If you get anything from an owl you don't know, be careful? I mean, especially careful? One of my coworkers is really mad at me, and she sent something to Corrie last week.

March 12th, 2010

3/12/10 12:46 pm

[private]

I don't know what to do about Pavlina. It was fine when it was just me, I didn't really mind, and it didn't seem so hurtful.

But now it's different. If it doesn't stop, I don't know what will happen next, but what if she goes after Twin? Or anyone else. That's not okay. ~~And when I see her smirking I'm angry. I don't want to~~

I have to do something. I don't know what to do.

[private to Corrie]

Pavlina said to tell you 'nice try'. What did you do?

March 3rd, 2010

5 things

3/3/10 09:42 pm

1. Except for the thing with the sweets, which was annoying at first, things have been surprisingly quiet at work this week, so far. I approve of quiet. If I could stamp it with a stamp of approval, I would (I'd use silver ink).

2) (Speaking of sweets, never use notes that have been turned into marzipan, even if they're the only notes you have, you're in a hurry and they look legible. They might have been tampered with, and also it's impossible to turn the page, especially after the marzipan turns into candy floss.)

3! If you accidentally disregard point two, don't touch anything! It will probably turn into candy floss? This includes wands, and also (unfortunately?) chairs. But if you have a clever officemate who's brilliant at modifying spells, don't hesitate to ask for help! You just might end up with an impromptu candy floss sculpting party! (Don't tell anyone at work that's what we were doing yesterday afternoon!)

4... People named Lacey are also good company when going to the ministry at lunch to look up registered animagi, in search of a teacher. I think if I find one, she might be tempted? I

.5, Also, I'm going to the Quidditch game tomorrow!

February 25th, 2010

Distractions

2/25/10 11:48 pm

I've been so distracted lately I'm not sure which are the distractions and which are the things I'm being distracted from.

I guess work isn't a distraction? But it keeps distracting me from reading more about what's been found out about the disappearances? I'm really glad that ended without any permanent harm being done to anyone, but I guess maybe I shouldn't say that because having things done to you can be harm even if it's not physical harm? But I'm glad it didn't turn out worse, and I hope everyone is truly okay.

I sort of want to know more about the people they caught who did it. The ones they say weren't important, even though they powered the disappearance device with their own personal energy. I wonder what that feels like.

I don't know why I want to know that. I guess really I wonder how the device works? It sounds complicated, much more complicated than anything I've ever seen, even at work.

But reading more (and sometimes trying to track down things my grandfather says) is also distracting me from work. I probably shouldn't let it, now that it's not a crisis any more, but it's hard to let it go and quit being concerned? I guess it's not as important to everyone else here, since they don't go to Hogwarts three time a week?

We're working on proposals for research projects, and everyone seems to care a lot about having ideas. I don't think it matters much who has ideas and who develops it, but I guess it doesn't matter what I think, even if sometimes they're my ideas. I'm getting a new office just sharing with Lacey, so maybe that will help?

And now I guess I'll quit letting rambling here distract me from going to bed? Good night.

February 14th, 2010

[normal world]

2/14/10 06:13 pm

[private to Twin and Corrie]

Are you okay? Grandfather keeps talking about disappearances at Hogwarts, and aurors and hitwizards, and I thought he was speculating about one of his conspiracies at first, but he says he's not?

February 7th, 2010

2/7/10 10:42 am

Except for the bit where one of the prototypes we were demonstrating wouldn't open all the way (which wasn't because of a flaw in the concept, it was because of a flaw in the materials that only became evident after they'd been respelled about fifty times) the demonstration on Thursday went well. And since the problem was pretty easy to fix, I guess it wasn't a big deal? Everyone seemed pretty happy with how it went anyway? ~~Pavlina even~~

We hear on Monday which of the products move on to production, which will be interesting. And then we start work on entirely new projects, which will also be interesting!

[private to Twin]

I asked Cécile if I could show you and Corrie a couple things I worked on a little, because I thought you might like to see what sorts of things I've been working on? (I think they're all pretty interesting?) And she said I could! Would you like to do that Hogsmeade weekend?

You can ask Cam too if you'd like or you think he'd be interested. I'd like to get to know him better, and he seems interested in how things work sometimes, so he might be interested?

January 31st, 2010

Tired

1/31/10 12:39 pm

I'm tired today. We have a demonstration at work on Thursday, so everyone's been working a little extra, just sort of sneaking it in? We're not expected to (at least, no one has said?) but everyone does.

So I went in yesterday, but I didn't help a lot until Jan figured out a better way to do some of the miniaturization charms and everyone started redoing everything -- I could help with that! And then when we'd finished that Cécile told everyone to go home and not come back today so everyone would be ready for Monday.

Then I stayed up late reading about charms and the blue throated warbler (only one of those is relevant!) and my grandfather woke me up early this morning because he thought I wanted to go to Manchester with him (but I didn't).

But I couldn't really get back to sleep properly after that, so I'm still tired? And there's no one here but the ghost who isn't there (I keep seeing her out of the corner of my eye, it would be interesting if that's because I'm tired?) and I sort of want to go back to bed and sleep until dinner. But that would be silly!

So I ought to go do something, but I can't decide what I want to do.

Actually, I think I'll take Zelly swimming. You can't be tired whilst swimming?

[private to Corrie and Twin]

I might not be able to make it to class on Thursday, because of the demonstration. I'm sorry. Take notes for me if I don't?

January 26th, 2010

Lacey

1/26/10 12:33 am

I was trying to figure out the pink language last week (I think it's a made up language, but maybe it is a code, and I ought to get Twin to help, since he's better at codes?)

And I was trying to work out how to adapt a charm that's usually used on metal so it can be used on wood.

And about half way through the week, someone left a couple of books on the ceiling for me, and one was on conlangs and the other was on charms, and they were both really helpful. And there was another the next day?

And I'm pretty sure it's not Karel or Pavlina, because neither of them is very helpful except by accident, but I'm not sure why Lacey doesn't just give them to me?

That's what I'm thinking about instead of going to sleep.

[private to Corrie]

Oh, I talked with Twin about you and him, and he seemed without hope about it, but said I could try to mediate? So I guess if you end up arguing with him, and you think it would help, I can try to help? (But I hope you don't argue. He's trying to avoid arguing with you.)

Also, I'm talking to your dad Thursday.

January 19th, 2010

Karel and Pavlina

1/19/10 08:52 pm

The room we interns have at work is pretty tiny, and it has all the most uncomfortable furniture and the gray metal desks with the hot pink writing on them in a language no one recognizes (not even me!), but it's the only part of the workshop where we can put things and know they won't be moved. So we all end up using it a lot.

I guess it was Pavlina who first figured out how to cast the spell from the upside down chairs (one of the sillier projects that's being developed here) on people to give us more room? She'd come in and if anyone was here, she'd wave her wand and we'd float up to the ceiling and she'd have the rest of the room to herself.

Karel caught on pretty quick and started doing the same thing, and he and Lacey put their heads together and came up with a defense too. I'm not sure how it works? I guess there was some sort of agreement that caught was caught, because once anyone was on the ceiling they didn't fuss about it any more. But I don't mind working on the ceiling at all? It reduces distractions?

Anyway, I went to work early today because I wanted to look up something in one of the books they have. I got there before most everyone, I thought, so I sat down at the desk Lacey usually uses. There was a bit of a draft and the pages kept blowing around as I read, but I was concentrating so I just tried to hold the pages down. And then I finished reading and looked up and Karel was sitting upside down on the ceiling, cross legged in one corner, and Pavlina was in the other corner, and they were sending breeze spells at the book I was reading.

"I win!" Pavlina said, and then they both burst out laughing as they floated down. Karel slapped me on the back, but Pavlina ignored me until Lacey came in, and then we all went to work on the projects we were working on in an extremely professional manner.

But when I was looking down from the ceiling and Pavlina wasn't looking, Karel looked up at me and winked.

[private to Twin]

I was thinking about how you and Corrie don't get on sometimes, and how that's unpleasant (I think not getting on is usually unpleasant?) And I was wondering what you thought? Do you think it's unpleasant?

January 9th, 2010

First week

1/9/10 07:35 pm

Actually, I only worked a couple of days this week, but I guess it was still the first week?

The best part was touring all the workshops and being shown what everyone was working on. It was all really interesting!

The worst part was filling out paperwork. Did you know you had to fill out paperwork to have a job? I thought you just show up and did stuff and then they payed you, but they want me to have a Gringott's account and all sorts of other things. I guess it works for them?

The thing that was neither good or bad was meeting all the other apprentices (but sometimes they call us interns, just to confuse us!) There are four of us. Karel smiles a lot and likes to slap people on the back, and Pavlina always has something important to say about whatever you're talking about. Even if you're not talking to her? And Lacey also smiles a lot, but she doesn't smile the same way as Karel. She's...more harmonious? I don't think that's the right word.

Getting to know people is usually good, but meeting people is just surface, and I don't think I'm getting to know them yet.

And the thing that was both good and bad was that I found out why I got this job so easily. I'm taking someone's place? I think he was a good friend of Lacey's, but he dropped the program at the last minute because he got a better offer? That's good because it's good to know things, especially things about how the people you'll be working with relate to each other, but it's bad because I don't think the others think I'm really qualified?

I'm reading some extra books about charms that Jan recommended this weekend, so even if I'm not qualified, maybe I can catch up? But reading isn't really as good as experience.

January 3rd, 2010

Missing the train

1/3/10 09:33 am

I hadn't thought about how strange it would feel to stand on the platform and watch the Hogwarts Express pull away without me. It felt completely wrong until it was out of sight, but then after that it felt like the beginning of something. Mo And I'm excited!

I'm not going back to school this term because I'm going to be working for François Jankovic instead. Not directly I guess, it's a research and development apprenticeship (or maybe internship, I'm not sure if there's a difference?) I've met the people I'm working for directly -- Cécile and Jan -- and they both seem very nice. I can't wait to start!

But it's been very busy this last week, working everything out. I think (unless something changes again) I'm supposed to show up Wednesday afternoon. And I'll still be taking some classes at Hogwarts some mornings (the really basic ones, so I have some NEWTs in the end, which is probably good even if I think NEWTs are mostly unnecessary? It makes Rolf happy!)

And I'm going to be living with my grandfather. My parents and Winifred probably won't be close enough for the whole season, so it seemed like a better choice, and my grandfather seems happy to have me. I guess that shouldn't be any more complicated than going back to school, but somehow it is?

[private to Corrie]

But I miss you already! I love you.

[private to Twin]

Does it feel strange to you? Like...distance? I mean...I don't know. ~~Maybe~~

December 28th, 2009

Today I met Francois Jankovic

12/28/09 11:34 pm

I really had no idea I was going to? But it turns out that Pema met him in Hungary: she was doing her family a favour and delivering some volatile magic ingredients to a rival of his, and it seems he was spying on his rival (or maybe just visiting to make fun of his rival in the kindest way possible, but I'm not sure what the kindest way possible is?) But they ran into each other there? It seems very odd, but I think they like each other despite the circumstances of their meeting!

So Pema invited him to tea with us today (without telling me who she was inviting), because he's in Britain not spying on another rival (I think this time that means finalizing some sort of deal where they're combining operations and bringing a lot of things from Austria to Britain and from Britain to Austria).

But mostly we talked about magic theory, not business! I really enjoyed it. I think François Jankovic is probably one of the most interesting people I've ever met?

And now I'm confused, because I thought I didn't really approve of some of the magic items his company makes and distributes? I've seen them before, in other parts of the world, and I know they're not dark, but I thought they might be...the wrong way to be moving magic research and development, because of the way they use energy? It could be sort of exploitative in a lot of ways?

But the theory is really interesting, and if it went a slightly different direction, it could actually be much better for the environment because it'd be easier to not use animal parts for magic? François seemed really interested in that when I brought it up.

So I guess I don't know? But it's interesting?

( private to Lysander and Corrie )

December 17th, 2009

12/17/09 06:44 pm

[private ~~to Corrie~~]

If A strange thing happened today after breakfast. As I was leaving, a whole bunch of second years

Never mind, I guess I really can't start this tonight?

I knew the appeal was going to be denied. But I'm still glad I wasn't wrong. ~~I wonder if he knew too, and~~

But the rest of the story seems rather confused. Someone actually died?

December 7th, 2009

It's beginning to look a lot like...

12/7/09 09:43 pm

And it's nice because there's a lot more going on? Somehow December always seems to be fairly busy. Just recently it's been Hogsmeade (and decorating!) and the play (which was brilliant! congratulations to everyone who was involved!) and the muggle studies club field trip is coming up (I need to ask Saraswati if she's going, I didn't see her name on the list, but I know she's in the club). And then the dance! And classes, but they haven't been very interesting, so maybe that doesn't count?

And outside of school...even the ministry is busy with whatever it was that happened last week? But I guess that's not a good kind of busy. It makes me wonder ~~about whether they're really~~ but not too much?

And soon it'll be hols, which is worth looking forward to? I got a letter from a friend who's going to be in England over Christmas. She's never been to England, so I want to show her some of the best things to see, but I haven't decided what yet.

[private to Corrie]

Speaking of hols, have I mentioned that you're invited for New Year's Eve? I've been thinking about it for weeks, but I don't think I've said anything? But you are!

November 27th, 2009

11/27/09 09:41 am

If you had a choice between a wand that was powerful but sometimes a little more clumsy, and a wand that was very very good at subtleties but not quite as powerful, which would you pick for using every day?

Would you pick differently if you thought you could learn to make up for one or the other (because you're better at either power or subtleties) and have a larger ranger of strengths?

Or would you rather use a wand that innately matches you most exactly?

I'm just curious what other people think?

[private to Harrison Upjohn]

I'm sorry, I've been distracted and wasn't paying a lot of attention to why you wanted it when I told you you could buy my old wand. But I guess I ought to say: it's always possible that there's something I don't know about, but so far as I know, the act of buying a wand isn't magical?

[private to Sapphira Robards]

I'm sorry I haven't made a point to talk to you before now, but do you think we should coordinate mentoring? I've just been trying to find Saraswati or sit with her at meals whenever it was good for me, but she seems pretty serious about classes so maybe something more organized would be useful to her?

I wanted to see what you thought before I talked to her?

November 19th, 2009

11/19/09 07:05 pm

I wish Aiden Harper would just disappear. ~~Everyone knows~~

I bought two new wands for me and one for Corrie (just for curiosity) when we had some free time today. I guess now I have two more wands than I really need, so maybe after I've figured out which of the new ones I like best, I'll see if I can sell the spare ones back? Can you do that? If not, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a spare wand anyway?

November 14th, 2009

Confirmation bias

11/14/09 04:27 pm

I went to the infirmary today because I thought I probably had the sneezing sickness. I mostly thought so because magic was acting funny for me, and it seemed like I was sneezing a little more than usual and I thought I could catch it early and avoid spreading it to anyone else.

Only it turned out to be just magic acting funny. I probably walked through one of the weird zones that show up at Hogwarts sometimes and make things strange? Potions fumes? Something in the water? Stray hex? It just seemed reasonable that it was the sneezing sickness when everyone's getting it all around?

(I hope I don't catch it from going to the infirmary where everyone else who has it is? I want to go to the journalism shadowing next week, and not spend the week sneezing instead.)

[private to Corrie and Twin]

Apparently, my wand doesn't quite fit me as well as it could any more. But possibly only in cold weather, or when I'm standing in sunlight filtered through coloured glass, or when I'm in the wrong mood, or something? I guess Madam Pomfrey might be able to tell more if she wasn't busy, but sometimes I hate magic.

Maybe I can buy a new wand next week.

November 4th, 2009

Things that you do

11/4/09 09:46 pm

I need a new hobby that I can do at school. "At school" limits it a lot more than I thought it would. I guess I've got used to being at school, so I don't think much about how much being at school is like trying to live at the top of a rainforest, without ever touching the ground for a year or so. If you do everything right, it all works out, and it's even interesting. And you probably start thinking it's completely normal, leaping from branch to branch. But then when you really think about it, there are loads of things you just can't do (like swimming!)

But I'm not exactly sure what I want out of a hobby? I guess it needs to be interesting and continually challenging and probably not especially dangerous (I guess), it would likely help if it wasn't against the rules, and...something else, but I can't think what. What's it called, the thing that makes it a hobby, and not just something you do?

Also, is it just me, or are classes more interesting in non-test years?

[private to Lysander]

I'd like your opinion on something. Just in general. Do you think loving someone means you need to approve of what they do? I mean, does it make them sort of a part of who you are too?

October 25th, 2009

10/25/09 07:26 am

[private to Juliana, Lucy, Lily]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened Thursday night. I'm sure it was annoying for you to deal with, and it was entirely my fault that it happened. Thank you for helping me when I was not entirely all there.

(There's no need to reply to this, I just wanted to tell you that and I can't really send an owl from here without a lot of fuss. But I probably won't be opening my journal again for a while~~, I used to think it was just the slambook where people~~. Anyway, thanks again for helping me; you're all amazing prefects.)

Lorcan Scamander